Body confidence

Since I was a child I have always been smaller than the people of my own age, I’m 22, I’m a size 6 top and a size 6-8 trousers, give or take the size depending on the style of trousers. I don’t think I have ever been confident about my body, which to be honest isn’t not normal I’ll admit, people are bound to have body confidence issues growing and becoming a young lady.

The main reason for my body confidence issues is my birth mark (hemangioma, also known as a pork wine stain because of it’s colour when it first appears). As many of you may know I have a condition called Neurofibromatosis type 1. The birth mark however is nothing to do with my condition. Pictured below is what my back looks like now, I don’t have any photos of what it looked like when I was a baby/young child.

I was told by my parents that when I was a young child that it was red raw in colour and described as a steak, the thickness was the thickness of a steak and it would bleed profusely at times. There was one time when I had to be rushed to hospital and my parents drove through the middle of the town and even went through red lights just to save my life. They were told by the doctors that if it was bleeding to get me to hospital IMMEDIATELY.

Since growing up I have always been self conscious of my back and what it looks like, I don’t like it. 

I don’t like having this massive scar on my back, it makes me feel, I don’t really know but it doesn’t make me feel beautiful. I have never wanted to wear a bikini or tops that show my back. I don’t want that anymore.

I have wanted to wear bikinis for ages but I have never had the confidence to do so, I don’t want people pointing and laughing about my back making sneer remarks and just making fun. The other week I went to the beach with my friends and it was the first time that I had worn a bikini in confidence and I felt good about myself. I felt happy, and that was the first time that happened to me.

My back causes me problems, for example it makes me very cold very quickly, or it makes me very hot very quickly, so obviously I do have to be careful when out in the sun and wearing bikinis but I don’t want that to stop me wearing bikinis and feeling good about myself.

Pictured above is a picture of me wearing a swimming costume and I feel confident when wearing it, it covers my back and it makes me happy to be able to feel confident about wearing a swimming costume and not feel so self conscious about my back and the way it looks.

I am going on holiday next week and I’m hoping that I can feel confident enough to wear a bikini or a swimming costume!!
I have always been smaller than the average 20 year old, but I am now so much more confident about myself, I am young, healthy & full of self confidence again, I hope that it stays and that I won’t let my back stop me from wearing a bikini and feeling good about myself.

I will never let my back or my smaller figure get in the way of my happiness and confidence, I will never let anyone’s horrible comments stop me from being happy!

Write in the comments a positive quote for others to read about body confidence